Loner naman kasi talaga ako. May pagka-anti-social. Tahimik lang sa isang tabi. Ipinanganak akong suplado eh. Mahilig akong mapag-isa, kahit 'di ko gusto. May occasional na pag-iingay, pero ewan. Superficial. Ikaw ang lumapit sa akin noon. Nakipagkaibigan. At history na ang lahat. Alam mo na 'yon. Kaya patawarin mo ako kung hindi ako makalimot. Ang tagal na kasi. Pero kahit na. Bawat oras na naaalala ko 'yong pagkakaibigan natin dati, tas makikita ko 'yong ngayon, sobrang sakit. Pagpasensyahan mo na ako.
Sa mga kaibigan ko ngayon, maraming salamat. Maraming salamat dahil hindi niyo ako iniiwan kahit parang hindi ko pinapansin ang mga payo't encouragement niyo sa akin. Nakikinig naman ako. Pero ang hirap talagang limutin 'yong nakaraan namin kahit sobrang gusto ko na 'yong mabura sa isip ko. Dahil dun, sobrang sorry. Sana maintindihan ninyo kung bakit ako umeemo ngayon. At kahit cheesy na at gasgas, sasabihin ko pa ring pinapalakas niyo ako nang tunay sa mga sinasabi niyo. Maraming maraming salamat. Mahal ko kayong lahat.
Maligayang Pasko.
1 comment:
Andrew, hindi dapat tinatanggap na lang ang pagka-loner or pagka-anti social. Walang pinanganak na suplado. It's the root rejection in a person's life that makes the person avoid people. I don't know everything but I understand how you feel when you said "Bawat oras na naaalala ko 'yong pagkakaibigan natin dati, tas makikita ko 'yong ngayon, sobrang sakit." hay nako nasira ang high school life ko dahil sa drama na yan. Cycle sa buhay ko noon yung may best friend ako tapos magkakagalit, or bigla na lang mawawala, or magtatampo nang di malaman na dahilan, tapos kahit anong gawin ko di ma-irestore yung friendship, but more often i just didn't had the guts and the humility to settle things, and often feels like ayoko na lang magkaron ng close friend, kasi ang sakit pag-paulit-ulit na lang ganun. I feel like i'd never really have a lasting friendship. Worse, losing a friend made me feel like it's because i can't be a good friend. But when i experienced God's acceptance, it gave me confidence that through him and only through him i can be good. And if i learn to love like Him, i can have lasting relationships. he's a friend who never gives up, he's a friend who never turns cold, he's a friend who initiates, he's a friend who waits. Have faith in Jesus Christ, his ministry of reconciliation involves restoration of close ties if you would just ask in His Name and not doubt. :-) would you believe that?
may i pray for you?
Father, you are a God who restores and heals. God you even said that this year would be a year of Jubilee, Father, your hand would touch and mend the wounded, and release from prison your blessings of love, joy, and peace as you restore what we had before, and even making things better, greater as we trust in the name of your Son Jesus Christ, amen.
Post a Comment